I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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