at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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