How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
