I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I want a musical about memes.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
