I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
