Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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