he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
