I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
