"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize