i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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