I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
as a side note pls kill me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
