A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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