Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
