Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.