she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
