M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Someone shattered a urinal.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
