Having a random hookup so left but love u
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
