i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
