Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
