I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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