he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
