Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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