plz talk dirty to me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
