I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
