In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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