Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
