Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
please come you make the beer taste better
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
