so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I touched a dick in church today
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
