New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We have started to decorate penises.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
