How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
