If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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