I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
