it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
