make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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