dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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