So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
