cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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