I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
