He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This is the prime rib incident all over again
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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