We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
