Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
