Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize