I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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