We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize