you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's like heaven, but drunker
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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