Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
