I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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