shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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