watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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