im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
