So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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