Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
