So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
