if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
