I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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