Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
