i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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