Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
