; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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