then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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