I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
