Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize