Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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