Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
