Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize